stopdog, I thought I'd share my experience with therapy today, but it is kind of in this vein. I had a big case this afternoon that I was really anxious about anyway, and didn't want to talk about anything too difficult in therapy this morning. So, we sort of meandered around in conversation aimless and I was thinking that it was a giant waste of time and money other than I like looking at him and just enjoy his company. However, after a while we were discussing work and my anxiety about this case, and I mentioned (casually I thought) how I had been procrastinating at work. He started probing that more because procrastination is not generally my issue. We had a really thought provoking discussion about how I treat my errors, and my fears, and how I generally label myself a loser for every error, no matter how small. So, it was a weird case, where I took the lead away from my "big" issues, but he was astute enough to guide me to something productive and helpful, but not so difficult I couldn't handle it today.

As an aside, I made a giant error just in getting to my hearing, because it wasn't in the courthouse I expected, for some reason, they held state court in the federal courthouse. How often does that happen and wtf were they thinking???? I got the notice but didn't even look at the location, because when X court says I have a hearing, I assume it will be at X courthouse. Because that's where the court IS LOCATED for ****'s sake. AND, I had a panic attack at X courthouse in front of the court clerk and she was nice about it, AND when I finally showed up for court, the panel of judges were incredibly gracious about it. So, they treated my error with a grace and forgiveness that I did not expect and certainly do not generally accord myself.