Hi Gardenergirl and Rhapsody,
Thanks for the input. I have actually been to therapy before and it was sometimes ok for other stuff but when i mentioned the ed she more or less ignored it. i feel so out of my depth with so much stuff right now though. i need so badly to get some control back over this thing and to have someone who can tell me if im being nuts about things cos i just worry theres something seriously wrong with my head sometimes.
sigh.
thanks again for replying.
biiv