I am losing it.

I ran out of money this month, there was just too much stuff to pay for. On top of that I lost my damned purse with like 390.00 in it. I am praying to hell that it turns up. Now I don't have the rent money I was supposed to pay on the 1st of last month.

I am freaking out now. I applied to modest needs, and I am ok for next month but if I can't come up with 650.00 by the 1st then I have 15 days to be out of my apartment. I never, ever do this. I have NEVER spent rent money ever. I have spent bill money but not rent money. I am going to try to negotiate with my landlord today. Does anyone know of any other places to apply for help like modest needs that are canadian too?

Oh god, I don't know what I will do if I lose this place. I will have no place to live and three cats I will have to give away. Everytime I think about it I want to throw up. Plus, I have guests coming for the weekend and I can barely handle myself. On top of this, I have to have a bunch of decorations done for a dance by tomorrow, and I am not nearly ready. I didn't even get supplies until yesterday.

On top of all of this I am definetly on a downswing(bipolar) and its pretty bad. bad enough that i slept almost 29 hours the last couple of days because I just can't take it.

Next month I have a 90 % chance of getting a REALLY good job that pays almost 16.00 an hour, so I will be fine. Plus I have a month of disability. What am I going to do for now?

I don't know if they will let it go, because my rent has been late since february because of being sick. I seriously don't know what to do. I'm terrified and sick to my stomach.

I know there is not anything you guys can do about it but I just need to have support right now and I just needed to dump that all out.

I'll be using this thread as my oh my god im losing it thread for the next couple of days. YOu don't have to read if you don't want to but I just need to vent.

I HATE INSTABILITY