Well, hello... my name is Jess. I am a victim of domestic violence. My husband, he no longer physically abuses me, but as you know words can hurt just as much, if not more than physical abuse. Well, the other morning, he got mad at me because the first morning out of the first two weeks he has been back to work, he had to get up and iron the boy's clothes, and get them ready for school. We had an argument because of that and he threw my phone. He hit me when I was pregnant with ALL of my kids that I have by him. Tonight, before he left for work, I was going to borrow his foodstamp card to go ahead and get me a sandwich from the store. But, because the children had messed with my shoes and I couldn't find them in the house at all, and I started cussing and getting upset, and as a result woke him up out of his sleep, he got angry at me and made himself late for work on purpose just so he could go and make his parents pissed off at me, and like... it has always been like this. I figured if we got married (8 years ago) that everything would be ok. Basically, the way our marriage is, is that... he dictates to me what he wants me to do for him, I do for the kids, and I had my own money he would take it, he doesn't discipline the children AT ALL, and when I tell him about it, or someone else tells him about it, he defends them even though they are wrong. I had him arrested in 2007 for domestic violence, and as if he didn't get the family to hate me enough already, when that happened, the whole family absolutely despises me because he has a record, but he did it to himself. EVERYTHING that goes wrong, especially when HE is at fault, he blames me. Well, I recently became addicted to alcohol and prescription drugs. I applied for public assistance to help me with housing until I get back on my feet, and I went to an agency and I told them about my drug use, I went to detox. I was alright, but tonight... when he started screaming at me telling me he wants me to leave, and then when I go upstairs, I hear my boys talking about me like they hate me, and then I hear my husband tell our oldest son, "Don't get married".... It's like he is literally turning our kids against me too.... I wanted to go back tonight to using so badly, but I had no money.. all I have is some juice and a bottle of pills. I want to take all of them all at once. But I know that's not the answer.