Why Can't I Forgive?

We all know that forgiveness is important and critical to any healing in a relationship. Still the question remains: "Why is it so hard to forgive?" I believe there are typically three main roadblocks to forgiveness.

1.) First, there's the inability to see our own mistakes and imperfections. If we are unable to see our own faults and mistakes, how can we possibly move toward forgiveness in our relationships? We must first be able to admit that we are not perfect and that we are capable of hurting people we love.

2.) Second, there's unresolved anger. Unresolved anger is a major hindrance to the healing power of forgiveness. If we refuse to let go of bitterness, rage, or hatred, we are holding on to very destructive forces. These forces are in direct contrast to the power of forgiveness, and they cannot exist together.

3.) Finally, there's a misunderstanding of what forgiveness is. Many people have great misconceptions about what forgiveness is, and therefore they struggle with it. Delusions about forgiveness are dangerous because they are not the truth. The truth will always set us free. But if we believe the lies about forgiveness, then we will refuse to forgive. Forgiveness is the key in creating loving relationships.

Is there someone you need to forgive today?
(Gary Smalley)