rainboots,
Didn't you have to rehash the past to get to the root of the self-hate/criticism?
I have tried the T thing, but avoided the bringing up certain really painful things from the past, thinking that they were irrelevant. Now I have come to the conclusion that they are very much related to my current issues.
If you had issues from childhood for instance, was this something you brought up in therapy? If so, how long did it take you to feel comfortable discussing it?
Also, did you discuss any past trauma with your T? Was that something you were able to bring up on your own?
Thanks!
Quote:
Originally Posted by rainboots87
Well, why are you in therapy? I assume it's not to rehash the past, but to figure out what you can do now to address your issues. It doesn't need to be crises- I'd look at the underlying issues that contribute to those crisis or just really difficult moments. What do you want to be different? Address that.
For me, the issue of "what's the point?" came up in therapy a couple months ago. My T replied that she couldn't answer that, only I could. We discussed it in later sessions, and she told me that it doesn't matter what she wants me to work on, it's about what I want to work on. If something isn't a concern for me, it won't make a difference if she has some way to address it because I won't care. It has to matter to me.
When I talked about my reasons for therapy in the past, I brought up when I started it to stop a particular eating disorder habit. The next time was to address a major breakup. Then it was because I was doing horribly trying to manage grad school and was forced to drop classes and my clinical internship (required to graduate). So I said I wasn't exactly sure about the point now other than depression and anxiety stuff. She said now that that other stuff wasn't distracting me, I could get down to the "real" work. She didn't mean that in a condescending way, and it's very true. It's not about the ED behavior or the breakup sadness or school trouble, I need to address the underlying issues that caused those situations to turn out the way they did. I need to focus on my self-hate/criticism and my attachment and relationship issues (like how to have a secure, healthy one). So not having frequent crises just means you can focus on your underlying issues.
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