Even if you are not at the point of leaving this relationship, please know that you are not the one with the problem here. He can tell you that what you're doing is wrong, but I think you know this is not the case. We're here to support you in this as well. Please don't let his sickness trigger your self-harming tendencies...it's just not worth it, especially when what you're doing is TOTALLY NORMAL. Trust me, most men that I know would love a woman who initiates sex.