I know exactly what you're going through MamaDuck, and it's scary. There were times I couldn't even get myself out for doctor appointments or T. But KEEP PUSHING YOURSELF and it'll (very slowly) get easier. Tell every proffectional who can help (your GP, Pdoc, T, ext) and ask for help and say that you don't want to live like this.... unless you do, but I really don't think you do or you wouldn't be posting this.

Focus your energy on getting help and getting through this. And know that you're not the only one. You're not alone. There are others that know exactly what you're going through.

Stay strong.