I am sorry that you are stuck in this abusive situation. But what you are discribing is not good for your children to grow up in. They have no way of understanding what is taking place and it is unfair for both your husband and you to include them in the disfuction of your marriage.

Look, as far as children are concerned they often choose to side with the one that has the most potential to strike out. A part them is siding with your husband due to fear of his power that they sense in this disfuction. It really isn't fair to them for you to get angry at them because "they are children and have no life skills or knowlege to understand what is taking place in your home". Under your own disfuction your children are getting imprinted with the understanding that this environment is acceptable and they are learning how to think that family life means what you and your husband are doing. So what you and your husband are really doing is setting the motion for them to also be disfunctional parents.

So, you should consider "not escaping through drugs and alcohol" and taking the steps to dismantle the disfunction you and your children are experiencing by you staying with this abusive man. And what your children will learn is that when they are involved or victims of abuse, they have the right to walk away verses stay and keep dealing with abuse.

Something to think about.
Open Eyes