Quote:
Originally Posted by earthmamma
Why do you think the won't do it? So much when through my mind all self hatred stuff such as "she knows you are trying to maniUlate her into caring for you" and "she is aware you are unconsciously trying to get her to mother you" oh god I felt so awful
I will if I can try and tell her Friday I need her to verbalise more. I thought I had told her this before but perhaps not clear enough. I mean how many yrs can she be expected too tell me she isn't or hasn't walked away.
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I'm not really sure why they won't offer reassurance unless asked. All I've come up with so far is that the T probably wants their client to be able to reassure them self and just blindly offering reassurances can undermine that. Or, maybe it's because they want the client to be able to ask for these things. Or, maybe it's just that old "T's are not mind readers" bit and they really just don't know what we need sometimes.
I've been with my T for 3 years, and she still has to reassure me that she's still there and won't walk away. I've gotten to the point where I can usually tell her that I need her to give me that reassurance one more time. Sometimes, T reads in to what I'm saying and picks up that I need that reassurance...but that's pretty rare and usually it's when I don't realize myself that I need it.
I think sometimes, you just have to come out and say "I know you want me to be able to do this for myself, but I don't feel like I'm at the point where I can yet. I still need your support in this, I still need reassurance."