Lola, let me know if that works. I once told my T the exact thing you just said. When I first came to therapy he used to sing the Simon and Garfunkel (i think) song about I am an Island... because I would say I don't need anything from anyone... well after have therapy I realize that is not true... I do have needs and wants and feelings even if I don't know what to do with them or it seems overwhelming...

My T says once you know you have a coping mechanism (need nothing from no one) it usually doesn't work anymore...

I hope this is just a emotional whirlwind and it will pass and you will once again see that you are worth whatever chaos thinking about yourself causes...