I think it is really really hard to look at / face ourselves and our minds will find all sorts of ways of helping us to avoid it, drugs, alcohol, SI, self sabotage.

But I believe learning to face ourself with T's help, actually frees us from all these things and the need to indulge in the avoidance.

If it were me, I would tell T about my self sabotage so that T could help me through it.