Welcome to you, and I hope you will feel free to say whatever it is you want ~need ~feel like saying here in the forums. There are so many of us here that deal with various demons that you might be dealing with, and I think it's good to know that. I am so sorry you are suffering more lately. I have suffered from depression for a very long time, and mine definitely comes and goes, changes in it's level of severity, and so on. Very frustrating when you just don't know what's causing these shifts, to be sure. I'm curious, are you taking meds? If you are, perhaps they need adjusting? Just a thought. Sending warm wishes....