Wow, you have alot of stuff going on in that post.

Not sure where to start, but as a business owner as well as someone who has worked for people who treated me like s---, I might suggest that you ask the person who is HER supervisor to hold a session with the two of you to work through these issues.

This will produce the following:

1. Documentation that you tried to work things out.
2. Makes management aware of the problems.
3. If you're fired, you can get unemployment as a whistle blower.

Now, in terms of getting along with a boss who is a difficult person, the best thing you can do is (A) to do your job the best you can and (B) document like hell when things seem "off kilter" to you in case you need those dates and details later. In the meantime, perhaps you should be searching for another job?

Keep in mind that management doesn't like to hear about this stuff, they just want people to produce. If your manager is delivering on her job, ie, giving upper management the results they seek, then upper management will be willing to sacrifice you, ie, fire you, because they'll see you as a whiner. So think about how you go about dealing with this situation in terms of sending emails to upper management. Might not be your best option here...just sayin'...

Anne