Quote:
Originally Posted by SpiritRunner
Yep, the answer should be really clear to me (if I feel bothered this much, I should stop doing it!) .... but I want to see what thoughts, if any, there are on something like this
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I think you're really answered your own question. If you are this bothered by what you did, it's something you should talk talk about and work towards changing.
Personally, I don't view honesty and dishonesty in completely black and white terms. I think there is a difference between "big things" like cheating on a partner, stealing, lying about finances, etc-- and "little white lies" like telling your friend "no, that doesn't make your *** look big" or "sorry, I can't help out with that bakesale, I have a dentist appointment." Personally, I don't do the former, and I won't choose to be in relationships with people who do the former either. I think-- especially with my partner, my close friends, my T-- it's important to be completely honest and transparent. Even wihen it's difficult and unflattering. In really close relationships-- like with my partner-- if she asked me her how her *** looked in an outfit, I'd probably tell her the truth, too! (Of course, I think her *** looks good in everything!) Anyway, my point being, I think honestly is the foundation of healthy relationships. You need to know that you can trust (and be trusted by) those closest to you. But, in those little pinches we find ourselves in-- like when an acquaintance is insecure and needs to hear a compliment-- or when we just need to find an "easy out" so we're not sacrificing our sanity to whip up 100 brownies overnight-- I don't think a little white lie will hurt. As long as those little white lies don't suddenly compound and turn into something bigger!
With respect to your situation, if you're bothered by doing something dishonest, it's probably because you are a usually honest person who feels bothered by doing something that goes against the standards of conduct that you set for yourself. At this point, what's done is done. However, if there is a way you could do something to "clean up" the situation after the fact, maybe that's worth pursuing? If not, then perhaps it's just a good learning tool for next time. Since you know how bad you feel about it this time, you will probably think twice before doing it again!