sr, maybe the problem is more that you are trying to label yourself one way or another? i'm not sure the label is really helpful. i also value honesty very, very highly but i do realize i'm human and i won't always be honest. i had an online friend once post something about realizing she's very intellectually honest but not so much when it comes to emotional honesty. boy, can i relate to that, but it is so not intentional when i do it.

it sounds like you are probably dealing with some perfectionism here and maybe trying to earn your worth. we will never be perfect but we don't have to be because we know the One who is. rest, spirit runner, rest.