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So my t is a rather good t for the most part, there have been some questionable things but in general, he's been a huge help for me.
Problem is (as I posted in two other threads, but am a bit concerned now) he made a comment that was rather upsetting. You know how a huge fear in therapy for many is upsetting their t? Well that fear may become my reality. He's honestly not a bad t and has helped me with many things but... Today he said if I was schizophrenic he would be "p*ssed" something that is a possibility as I have been diagnosed schizophrenic before.
But he's on the side of my other diagnosis of DID (saying he and my pdoc are %100 sure) and doesn't believe the schizophrenia, but for him to say if I were schizophrenic, that he would be "p*ssed", it worries me. I guess he thinks my method of treatment would have to change but I don't think it should. Now I'm kind of worried to be honest with him, I wasn't before but now knowing that if my past diagnosis were true that he would be actually angry, it upsets and worries me.
Maybe he said that because they would change me to the pdoc instead of him and he would lose me as a patient (as he specializes in my other DX of DID and my pdoc specialized in psychotic disorders) but none the less, knowing a part of who I may be would make him mad is worrisome. I just don't know where to go from here, I'm kind of worried to continue to be honest, meds are not what I need, despite the diagnosis, therapy is what I need. But not when I'm afraid to be honest with him.
Again, he's been a good helpful t, but this isn't so helpful, I just don't know where to go from here in this, holding information back wont help me, but neither will the fear of angering him
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I'd lock my hands behind my head, I'd cover my heart and hit the deck, I'd brace myself for the impact if I were you.
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