What is the meaning of life? I think it's a very individual thing, and the meaning is whatever the individual decides. I know you probably wasn't looking for an actual answer to that, but thought I would answer anyways!

Sorry you're so depressed. I know how you feel. Sometimes it's such a struggle just to breathe. I hope you didn't hurt yourself, and don't. I understsnd why you do though - I do too. And as we all know, it's extremely common among those with BPD.