![quote=LydiaB;2408773]I got put in the hospital over the weekend. On friday I walked into my psychiatrists office and told her why I was there.

She says "So why are you here?"

"People are telling me that my parts are trying to kill me".

She rolls her eyes "Well I don't even believe in DID, it's not a real diagnosis".

I stayed calm, but got snappy. "O really, so what I'm just sitting here lying to you?"

"No I think it's all part of your borderline personality disorder diagnosis. I mean what your alter ego is telling you to kill yourself that doesn't even make sense?".

"Really? because not even you have ever diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder before. I've never been diagnosed with it. My abuse happened outside of my family and I'm close with them."

"Well I guess I just didn't catch it. Do these things have names?"

"No mine don't have names and don't call them alter egos! I think it's appropriate that I switch doctors if you're not willing to treat what I need".

"Well the other doctor is Dr. A and he doesn't believe in it either".

She proceeds to ask me 20 different questions trying to trap me into a borderline diagnosis "Do you have any friends"? "Are you impulsive?" On and on until finally I stand up and say "this conversation is over" and I walk out. Usually I am like shaking I am so scared of doctors and stuff, but for some reason I was so mad how she handled it.

So then over the weekend I wrote her a note telling her I didn't appreciate her politics about my disorder. How I spent years in hospitals trying to find answers and I found something that the treatment works for and I didn't appreciate hearing her input about it so quickly. That if she had opinions she should have kept them to herself. About how my outpatient doctor didn't believe in the diagnosis but he never outright came out and said "DID doesn't exist" right away. And how he chose to educate himself, and now believes in them. I told her she was extremely rude to refer to them as "alter egos" that that term is used loosely by ignorant psychiatrists from like the 70s. I told her to educate herself. That DID was in the DSM and if she knew about depression she should probably learn a thing or two about DID. I told her "NO they're not "alter egos" they're dissociative states, so far dissociated they form their own identity. It's really not that hard to believe!"

Okay so my part that stands up for me writes like crazy and is learning to use it in real life, but is a bit nervous.

She was on on the weekend, although wasn't my psychiatrist till Monday. Monday morning she comes in and she says "I think you misunderstood me, I do believe in DID, it's just hard to believe that one would be suicidal when you are fine". I noticed on her filing cabinet a book on DID and my antipsychotic(which is rare) were sitting together. Of course because I don't really know how that's possible either, and really hard for me to believe I said "I think we can agree that I am safe". She let me leave. But she didn't listen to my outpatient therapist who said I am in danger of being hurt by these parts, because she didn't believe it was possible.

However I am on a waiting list to get into a trauma unit soon.

So sorry LydiaB that you had to go through that dummy psychiatrist....I've had several myself.I am giving a high five to your part that stood up for you....that's what protector parts are for. I am (we) ( some of us)....have been with psydoc and T for years and never let them see us switch because we knew they didn't believe, we can be very stubborn and independent....and were pretty good at switching smoothly (our switches are so smooth it just looks like we talk a lot). one(I had been with him for 6 years and he didn't believe... finally believed one day when a 3 1/2 year old came out and talked to him......I was admitted to Sheppard Pratt with in the week...That is a hospital in Baltimore Maryland that has a special unit called a trauma unit and most every one there has d.i.d...it was a very good hospital and they know what they are doing I learned many coping skills...they wanted me to stay longer but I was home sick. I was originally diagnosed with d.i.d in the early 80's...but at that time it wasn't in the famous DSM ( is that the right book I'm looking for?) book and insurance wouldn't pay. I usually got diagnosed with the " catch all diagnosis of " schizo-affective disorder." Once we were correctly diagnosed and am getting the proper treatment we are getting better...we like every body else have our good days and our bad days.I have been blessed, I have a T now that has 20 years experience with d.i.d and SRA survivors.....now this T is good she can spot a "switch" immediately... Take care Trauma units are very good and the staff are well trained . Let us know how you are doing....life