I'm sorry your childhood was bad. You didn't deserve to be verbally abused. But I'm gonna break it to ya. It's a big fat horrible myth that every person with BPD is abusive. In fact many many people with this, are the ones that are abused. The victims. Just like not every abuser has BPD. Your mother just happened to be an abuser, AND have BPD. Being in denial is also a classic trait of an abuser. They don't admit to it. So I think you should treat the two things seperately. She has BPD - that's one thing. And then there's the abusive personality.

Is there something specific you want advice with/to talk about? :-)