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I talked to t about this. I'm not going to exclude mom from the ceremony. Of course Dad wont be there, my middle brother will definately be there. My mom, although she doesn't ever mean harm, she's just one of those that never thinks of the consequences of her actions, and for that I was in a difficult childhood. But she never intentionally hurt me. My oldest brother, the way I look at it, I have 10 months to decide. I can send him an invitation but I can call him the night before if I want and tell him I do not want him there, tell him why and he will not go. But I still don't know if even sending an invitation is the right way to go. T and my fiance don't think it's a good idea to invite my brother. But I hope that 10 months from now I am stronger and can handle this stress much better, and it wont effect me so incredibly and I will be able to handle it. I just don't know what to do on that part.
My brother was very abusive. Both were. But the middle brother apologized, we mended the relationship. The eldest brother was far more abusive and never apologized. It was much more difficult with him, many blackouts with him around.
The rest of my family, I'm just going to decide as I come to that point. Like my Grandma, while I love her and want her there, she is currently the guardian of 2 little boys, one who is the same age as my daughter, abusive toward my daughter and threatened to kill me because I say he can not marry my daughter (they are both only 4, I do not take his threat seriously but I'm trying to keep that kid away from my well behaved child, he's rather bad) so I don't know if I will invite her for the sole reason of that child. I've been trying to ignore her calls and visits as she often stops by and ends up leaving the kids for me to care for, leaving that kid to pick on my daughter for hours on end. But even ignoring her calls, she is just stopping by unannounced now. So who knows if I will invite her when she's going to have that kid.
I just don't want anything to really stress me out, and pretty much everyone in my family has and has the potential to again upset me on this day, and perhaps that's what I need to work on, not letting them upset me. But when your mom burts out your mental disorders to a room full of people you don't even know, imagine the paranoia she will do the same at a toast or something on your wedding day. I can see it now "I just wanted to say I am so so so happy for my wonderful daughter to be marrying such a normal good man, with her dissociative identity disorder and schizophrenia, her blackouts and seizures, I'm surprised she met anyone so normal" and even if not in a toast, someone would get that speech at some time during the reception. Maybe not, but it wouldn't be the first time if she did for sure
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I'd lock my hands behind my head, I'd cover my heart and hit the deck, I'd brace myself for the impact if I were you.
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