I need help trying to figure out why I'm so non-compliant with medication and how I can stop having a daily battle. I need medication to keep me out of the hospital, thanks to my crises plan. I get a LOT of say over my medication but I will not get a say if I am hospitalized. I'm currently on just lamictal because pdoc is trying his best to at least get me to comply with that. I admit that lamictal does help better than any other medication but I don't like that it helps . I've been on every other mood stabilizer except lithium. I know my son won't be able to stay with us without me complying because it's not healthy for him. Why can't I just be an adult and be fine with the 30 sec. once a day it takes to swallow a pill that makes me a better person? How come after 7 years I still can't convince myself medication is necessary for me to survive? Maybe, I just don't want to survive? If I can't figure it out how am I going to convince my son to try medication again?

Help!!! I need to figure out how to live with medication. I don't want to struggle with it on a daily bases for the next 50+ years.... any thoughts are appreciated