You know I did the same thing - read books on do's and don'ts of raising children because I had been abused and so on. I ended up more confused then anything. This book said do this and the next book said aboslutely don't do that same thing. It finally came down to my childs home nursing services nurse telling me to put those books down. The books are just like any other book out there. They are only as good as the time period they are wrote in and the authors experiences. and what is and isn't appropiate for raising children changes often. For example some of the way I was raised was acceptable for the time I grew up in - no seat belts in cars, spare the rod spoil the child, you didn't go to the doctors for every ear infection, cold and so on. Now no seat belt and car seat in some areas = heafty fine and other consequesnces, hitting with an object is now considered abuse, hitting and leaving a red mark is considered abuse, ear infections the child is seen because infections cause hearing loss.

Even just the past 5-10 years standards for how to raise a child has changed which is why now parenting classes are taught - so that people don't rely on out dated material and parent with the presently acceptable parenting skills.

When I took parenting classes last summer the therapy professional teaching the class advice was that if the books copywrite was not the current year consider 95% of the information contained in that book as out dated and of no use. It is with this standard that many states are now requiring licensed day care providers to update their skills at certain intervals.

So my advise is look at the copywrites and if the book was not put out in the current year disregard it and take a parenting class that is now presently running and teaching the present day information.

Take care