Okay, so I've got so much criticism for not having my mother as the biggest female role model in life. I know a lot of people having their parents as role models, but I guess I'm the only one then?

My mother has been a alcoholic since I was around 13 years old, and it got worse when she married her second husband after my father. He was an alcoholic as well. He was abusing me both when he was sober and when he was drunk, it happened right in front of my mothers eyes, but she didn't do anything about it. She just thought he was joking around with me, even though I told her so many times that he's not joking. They eventually divorced in December 2010 after I had a long and deep conversation with my mother about it. Mom moved back to the town I was raised in, while I was still living with my father 6 hours away from her. I didn't like living with my father. He was very harsh towards me and he hardly let me meet my friends. I have a best friend (we are still best friends) and I was hanging out so much with her because we have a lot in common, and one day he told me that I couldn't see her anymore because she was a bad influence on me. She was the only person I could talk to about my problems and how I'm feeling.

So my father isn't a role model, that's for sure. I can't look up to him after what he did to me. I just can't, and it won't ever happen.

Back to my mother... I moved to my mother last year in April because I've had enough of my father. Mom went to her mother in Finland in June 2011 and was supposed to stay there until middle of July 2011. But she decided to go home because she was almost murdered there. After she came home she started her drinking habits again, and it made me depressed. No matter how many times I've told her to stop, she gave me empty lies and empty promises about stop drinking, but she never stopped. She never listened to me. She hurt me without knowing it.

In August 2011 we were at my sisters wedding, and she was drinking sooo much. My father was there and he saw it. We talked to each other, but not about her drinking problems. I was hurting inside, but I never let it out that day. I was acting like everything about my life was perfect. It wasn't perfect. It was far from perfect.

Mom went to rehab in September 2011 because I threatened her to move to my sister in Finland if she didn't stop and she would be left alone. So she called the rehab and admitted that she needed help to quit drinking. She succeeded. This year, in May, she started drinking again as soon as her current boyfriend went on a cruise with his colleagues. I walked out to her and I asked "Have you started drinking again, Mom?" and she lied me straight to my face. She said "I would never start drinking again, you know that.". I was hurt because she was lying to me, and she wasn't strong enough to stay away from alcohol. So I threatened her with moving again, and then she stopped drinking again. Now she's not drinking anymore, but I'm still very hurt.

I don't see her as a role model. Is that weird?