Well I did it again, wasted another day away. I don't know what bums me out me out more the fact that I feel I have nothing to get out of bed for or the fact I didn't really get out of bed today. Don't get me wrong I love love love sleep. but today I got up to do some grocery shopping and was back snoozing on the couch by noon slept till about 4:30. That means i'll be up all night again. When I realize I've slept all day and accomplished yet again nothing! when I wake up I always feel so low. to the point of tears. If I go out and party I can fake happy for a bit fake connections with people I don't really care for. But I do smile a bit. If I try to do the right things stay sober stay away from bad influences keep my nose clean, I wind up utterly alone and very sad and huge mood swing between crying and anger. Why I'm I such an extremist? Why can't I find middle ground in my emotions and in my relationships?