I think what you're thinking/feeling is understandable. It would definitely take me longer than 5 days to even process and accept much less begin to make a decision about what to do. I don't know how long it might take to get over the shock and stop picturing that happening. A long time. This is something that is going to take a lot of time and effort. I don't really have any advice. I think that there are decisions you have to make and then work hard to accept what happened and rebuild the relationship or... begin the process of getting over it and moving on. I wish you well.