I have a hard time with it too Hellion. I have not told many people i'm on disability for depression. Only my bf knows and my therapist and staff there and my doctors. I recently shared with my uncle that i was on disability but i didn't tell him why and i told him not to tell anyone. If anyone would ask i would probably say it was due to my crohns disease. I am embarrassed and ashamed and i guess its because of my own negative feelings but its also because of the way society makes those of us who need help feel like scum of the earth. It makes me mad. And to make things worse people in my own family have issues about it too. I don't know why because we were not rich and at times my mom received food stamps and sometimes we got food baskets around the holidays and my mom shopped at the goodwill store. But my siblings and some of my cousins and even some friends act like its a sin to accept help. Mostly i think they have a problem with young people who have child after child and don't work. But i'm sure they would have a problem if i told them i was on disability for depression. When i try to explain to people why i withdraw because of depression or why i don't get things done i've heard well i went through this and that and i had to still go to work and clean my house and yada yada. Or i have even had people say they are depressed too and even take meds for it but they still have to work they don't have a choice. I don't even talk about my depression with anyone anymore. I don't talk about my physical health issues either because they have this holier that thou attitude about everything. If they can do it so should you is thier attitude. Some politicians have that same attitude. And they have now started complaining more about people on disability for depression. I read a comment in the newspaper from someone who said people are able to go to the doctor and say they are depressed and then get on disability and collect a check. You don't even have to have "a physical illness" anymore. Anyone can pretend to be depressed they wrote. And i feel like even at the doctors offices the staff looks at me like why do you have this medicare card. I guess i look young and healthy and they don't get it. I have even had people downright rude to me and at the pharmacies too and i couldn't understand it until i started thinking to myself i bet its the insurance. They see i am on disability and they think i shouldn't be. Maybe i'm being paranoid but i swear they look at me like they are trying to figure something out and i get an attitude. One nurse looked at my chart and rolled his eyes and once when i was having a colonoscopy and i wasn't quite under yet i heard someone say, shes on disability but i don't know why. So i feel like even the medical community makes you feel bad about yourself too. My therapist said i shouldn't let what people think bother me but its hard not to. I never thought i would be in this predicament. I can't even believe the way my life has turned out and i am not thrilled to be on disability i would rather be able to work and have more money to have things that i need like a car and a decent place to live and i certainly don't want to have depression. They wouldn't want my life i guarantee that. So I hear you and i understand how you feel and i unfortunately don't know what the answer is though. So hang in there.