Your responce is touching PurpleFlyingMonkeys. I love the name. My emotions have been threw hell today. And at 11:00 at night no sleep is in sight.
Very true oral sex = 's bad. It is something I certinly prefur not to participate in. My husband knows the general info minis a lot of detail. It would only make him angry with the ex bf. That would not accomplish anything positive. It's now something I feel like trusting my own husband with. We are not to close right now and I have a sneaking suspission that this part of my past is partially to blame. I have put up walls and boundries and let NO ONE in to hurt me again. My husband has done enough damage emotionally that I don't care to deal with this subject and him. He's controlling and I'm not sure why I'm still here. But thats another whole can of worms.
Thanking back to my ex. We live out in the country where the gas stations close at 7:00, and the nearest town is 20 miles away. It's great out here unless someone wants to get you lost. My ex would drive around and make certin we,I, was lost. He would find a dumpster (here we don't have trash pick up, you take trash to large sets of dumpsters scattered throughout the county). He'd take me to a dumpster site at night and if I didn't do what he wanted he would leave me there. Darkness is my greatest fear. (Dumpsters with rodents,opossums, and bears no thinks) Once I stood my ground and he left me there. He did come back and I did make good on my part of the deal to get back in the truck and back home. If there was an empty parking lot, barn, wooded area he seemed to know where it was. The smell of man parts will never leave me. That horrible smell of d**k will be with me forever.
YIKES!! SORRY ABOUT THAT!! Thats the first time I have ever told anyone about that. Sometimes me and my husband just go out for a drive to get away from the kids and I'll see a dumpster and think. Wow thats where I was. My ex would drive around in circles, take different streets all leading back to the same dumpster so he could leave me there and I would not know where I was. As soon as I saw a dumpster I would start counting houses so if I did have to walk I would know what house had it's lights on. So if that family went to bed I would not be waking them from deep sleep. My theory on men after this 9 mo time frame was over was "Don't touch me, keep your tounge in your mouth and your you know what in your pants". It served me really well to until I got married. Married folks don't play that to well. So there's alot of sexual issues I'm left with to face.
After this was all over my ex stalked me for 2 mo. and threatened to kill himself or me. Which ever I chose. The choice was easy shoot your self save the next poor girl that comes your way. Which was my best friend who married him. She was a nimfo. So I guess it worked out great for her. Or she's in her own personal hell. We don't talk anymore.
O.K. GOOD NIGHT!! Thank you for listening and I truely sorry I wrote so much, hope I didn't give PurpleFlyingMonkeys nightmares and to much info. I think I went a little to far but it just kept pouring out and if I don't share it, it's gonna pour out again and again or eat me alive. I can't think youPurpleFlyingMonkeys and everyone else at this site for all you kindness showed and I pray that I have not added extra damage and truama to someone elses life. I feel terrible things went this far here tonight but I THINK I CAN SLEEP. YEAH!!!!!