Hello, you sure have a miserable story there... my life is kinda miserable too, but it's hard to put it all in words. One would have to live in my shoes to really know what it's like, don't you agree with that of your own life? Feel free.
I don't wanna jump off a bridge either, I thought about it once a few years ago, but I didn't do it, back then I was too lusty for a guy to even try to do it then. I wasn't depressed then at all. I thought about it before I had the chance, just I never took that chance. I don't advice anyone to, not saying it's that bad of a thing to do to solve your problems, but I strongly believe one who does that will go to hell. We have no proof if hell exists or not. Part of me strongly believes there is a hell though.
I have no friends either. I felt I never got support from any other person in my life, like your guy-friend is like to you. We are not the first ones, and we won't be the last. We exist because we are creatures with feelings. I also don't have the money to leave really, I feel stuck and very overwhelmed with my life right now. I have a million possibilities in my head of what I could do with my life in the future, but I don't know which one to pursue.
I believe, things will be the same no matter where we go, unless you and I; and people like us; can just go to our own planet, but so far that planet is not found yet and it's so far away we can't travel with means or enough money for that trip (to another planet). The whole world is going to act like this to us the same way no matter where we go. We have to realize that. I moved 3-4 times and I see a pattern, people find me an easy target to treat like garbage. It's me on the inside. You on the inside. And there is no way we can be changed, but we must be accepted. It is a shame we have to fight for our individuality. Think of it as them being jealous of us being such truly unique individuals. I pray I die of cancer soon, that's what I do. I seriously do. I know the world isn't coming to an end 2012 or 2013 for sure. I feel I am forced to live in a miserable life. I don't like finances and so I live with financial worries all the time, I never lived on my own before, I wish I could, it may be a neat experience, but it's just seems way too hard to even try. If only this world didn't need money for all the things it takes to live (shelter, food, clothes). So I just pray I die from cancer soon or some other illness. No health insurance, I think goodbye cruel world. But I stopped wanting to kill myself, after being so unsuccessful, I'm such a failure.