>> I just don't want to believe he is dead. Is this normal?

Silver Queen that is COMPLETELY normal and actually expected. It is one of the 5 well-recognized stages of grief that accomplanies any loss:

<ul>[*]Denial[*]Anger[*]Bargaining[*]Depression[*]Acceptance</il>

More information about the 5 stages of grief:

http://www.idexter.com