I've wanted to hurt myself in the past few weeks more than ever...at least as of lately. I wish I could. I would if it weren't for the fear of my parents and T finding out.

T..............she's partially the reason I feel the urge tonight. She mentioned termination today. Why? Why is it so hard? She's so proud of me for not hurting myself even when I want to all the time. I don't want to leave her. I don't I don't I don't. I worry that I'll never be ready to.

Do we ever get to a point where the urges disappear completely?