A few of my friends from work have been trying to get me to go to a party with them the past couple of weeks (it's a weekly thing at one of their outside-of-work friend's house), but I keep declining. I've gone a couple times and while I have a decent time, I find myself a bit uncomfortable. The host is female, roughly my age, and, quite frankly, hot. She is the only female I've ever met in real life that I've found attractive. It's not an "oh, she's pretty" passing thought, it's an actual "wow, she's hot" type of thought. I thought I was at the point where I'm comfortable admitting to myself that I do find some women attractive, but apparently I'm not quite there yet. She's engaged and straight so I know nothing will come of it (nor do I want it to), but I've been avoiding going there because, well, I'm not sure why, other than having to face the fact that I'm attracted to her. I don't understand why I'm uncomfortable with this.