I've told T I really don't want to leave but I always have done simply because I know I have to. That doesn't make it any easier. In fact sometimes it feels like every possible force is holding my body on the sofa. But the fact I HAVE to go and T needs me to go, allows me to make the wrench. I even told T that I would never refuse to go no matter how hard it was.

Also, it would cause problems for my T if I didn't go and I suspect she would say unless I keep to the boundary she wouldn't be able to see me. Harsh perhaps, but at the end of the day I wouldn't blame her. I think it would be pretty awful for the T if a client refused to leave considering the fact they might have another client coming or their own life to lead. T's have boundaries for good reason and it's important to respect them.