Hi Everyone,
Not sure if this is the right forum for this topic, but I know it's one of the more active forums and I just need some support.
I'm having a hard time with my depression, mostly it comes out as me not having very much energy or trouble with getting myself to do stuff like get to meals (especially breakfast in the morning, and dinner if I'm sleeping in the afternoon) and I end up sleeping a lot. I know I'm going through a big transition in moving here almost a month ago. It was the right decission. I don't have to be with my alcoholic family, and I'm with others dealing with the same issue, everyone is blind. But it is a lot having come from another state very far away. I miss my cat, (you can't have pets in supportive living) and my voice movement therapist so much!
I want to eventually work with this organization for the blind where you can get an internship and a job, but I want to feel more settled in first. And it would be kind of stupid for me to start working if I have this problem with so much lack of energy and trouble with daily routeens.
I did meet this ocupational therapist this past week, who's pritty amazing. He has training in mental health counseling and is a music therapist as well, and he plans to help me with everything from learning to get around in and outside the building, to the daily routeen issue, and other stuff including starting a music therapy group for us residents. I'm happy about this. I think he'll be a good support for me. But we're trying to get my parent's insurance from the state I moved from to pay for this, and it's kind of stressful. I have my doubts that they'll aproove it. He says he'll work with me no matter what, but it's hard to trust that too.
It's so hard when my days are so up and down. I was pritty down this morning, slept most of the afternoon, had dinner listened to some of a book on tape. Then there was a resident party type thing on the fifth floor terrace of our building. We had music and snacks. I actually talked with people and felt ok. I had a conversation with one of the residents that's been here a long time, and is head of our counsel. He told me some things that he probably would have been better off not telling me, like stuff about possible budget cuts to this place and just other issues about how it's run and things that I probably don't need to know. It just makes me anxious. I just got here, I don't want anything happening to this place. It might have some things that are annoying about it, but overall it's great, and I feel safer here than I have anywhere else, in spite of the depression. I just go to the worst case senario, that it could close due to budget cuts and that I'd be right back at my parent's. I know that probably won't happen, or at least not very soon, but it's where a part of me goes.
So I just feel like I'm dealing with a lot. Things just aren't totally settled yet, like I still haven't found a therapist, and found out that the psychologists that come to where I'm living don't take medicade anyway. There's a low fee place I found about but just don't have the energy to call. There's just so much going on.