OMG- I typed and retyped and had what I wanted and I must had taken too long and I got logged out...

First thank you all so much. Hugs to all to... you all have some really good tid bits-

I can't go to another dept- i do not have the tech skills that they have, with that said- yes this is a job that I could find else where- which I am really thinking even if this does clear up- I rather leave on a happy note, rather than stay and something else happen down the road and be upset again. Five year plan-- I keep forgetting when I make them, and get to points of what is the point- BUT i will add I agree it is a good thing to do.. The Cons add up more than the pros at current job..... It is all basically around the supervisor and I am sorry that i get so intertwined with the bad negative with her.... But some times she does seem so big-- And I am sorry that I allow that.

Good thing out of this is- I am looking for another job so I have asked some people for recommendations and or if references, People that have worked with me, some write me recommendations and some say yep put my name down and have them call me if they want- So I am trying to move on from here-- When I realized that people said they would be honored, and that they don't want me to go but understand (they understand due to they have observed I did not tell them of the recent things) -- it felt really good and a part of me came up from the hole of negativity and was like-- she (supervisor) is not that big after all if these people that i work with that are higher than her position, are like this towards me... yes this has helped a little with feeling better...

Bad thing from this is--- IBS Symptoms are acting up (hope it does not do the death cramping- if it does i will go to doctor), anxiety, loss of sleep, parinioa, mood swings *(up down all around!), back pain/muscle tightness and my loer back/leg is in the fritz to spasm as it does. Friend has told me to go to a doctor for these symptoms so doc says - yep stress from this creating this stuff.. Will wait... I always fear due to I am dx with Severe PSTD And Bipolar2 that will be used against me... IDK why, I just do.

Things are in works with escalation which i don;t want to talk about right now.... but things spreaded further than from me, she blames my writing to her of partially for doing something to another (she demoted someone due to I wrote to her that she was harassing me) <-- which makes me feel like *really bad* that she blames me-- but i do realize something here--- this is a drowning duck that is flaring their arms out and is splashing everyone as they drown....

I hope things get cleared up soon.