This reminds me of my own experience. Last week, I was triggered by something that hadn't triggered me for well over a year. I don't know about you, but there are quite a few "domains" of life where things can set me off as actual or symbolic reminders (somehow-- it can be quite obtuse) of the CSA I experienced as a child.

It wasn't a bad trigger, I was actually able to stop it midway, but it was there. This week I complained to my T about it, how unfair it felt that I still had to deal with this, couldn't I just have 1 stinking domain of life where it is nothing but peace? Haven't I worked hard enough to earn THAT?

I guess what I'm saying is that it can be really unfair, and being safe and feeling safe are both things that can be continual struggles for some people. In some ways, given the terribleness of the childhood experience, how can it not continue to affect some, perhaps many, perhaps almost all folks in some way? And of course, there's nothing that we can do, no way that we can be perfectly safe except perhaps locked up in our security-riddled homes, if outsiders are looking to hurt us. We may continue to be triggered regardless of how good we are or how hard we work. It doesn't mean that we aren't good enough or we haven't worked hard enough. It just means that the shadows of our past continue their reach. It gets better, it happens less often, but there is no ultimate control that we have.

Be safe, nightsky. You haven't done anything wrong.