Hello everyone, just joined. I need some big time help & support. I've had major depression for ~23 years now, and I am currently going through probably the worst part of my life. I have tried numerous meds, several doctors and therapies and I'm back in the deep black hole. I just can't seem to pull myself out this time. I feel as though I'm in a living hell......I wake up in the morning (despite only a couple hours of sleep) and COMPLETELY DREAD the day. I just hate myself and my life. I don't want to see any of my friends or family. I just want to be alone. Being online sometimes helps, although.

I've put some calls into some doctors, hoping that that may open some doors. But for now, I just want to sleep away everything.

I can't go on living like this; this isn't living in my book. Does anyone have any suggestions or thoughts??? Any support whatsoever is welcomed!! (Btw, I hope I haven't betrayed the forum's rules in any way)......