I am hoping I will feel Ok when I actually see T - it is just at the moment, there are all sorts of warning bells going off in my head and drawing parallels between this memory and being on my own with T - like part of me is telling me to beware that this is not (another) serious error of judgement.

I don't feel I can talk to T about this as it would seem pretty insulting after all his patience with me.

I have faced a lot of betrayal in the past and therefore my alarm gets pushed quite easily.

I am trying to calm things, but feel this potential for a complete over-reaction. I am so sure this is all a transference thing, but there seems to be such a big gap between my head and my emotional response to things.