I am coming to the end. I know its just going to get worse. I am scared everyday to get out of bed, waiting what negative thing was going to happen in my pathetic, useless, worthless life. I can't deal with it. I can't even deal with going to Wal-mart. That is awful. The crowds destroying me. Closing in on me. Blocking me. The long uncaring lines. In other news, more bleeping bad news... what a shocker. The mouse/rat infestation is so bad in the attic that we now have to spend literally THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS just so we don't die from the rats and mice. We caught 5 today alone. The birds mess just makes it worse in the house itself because the rats seem attracted to their food. The birds make so much mess. The second you clean it up, it is just as bad as when its started. OH what horrible crap is coming tomorrow? Mom's surgery is getting worse and worse, now she is getting spasms and in the past when she gets that it has become infected. I bet when the staples are out it will become infected. That has happened before. I can't stand my brother as well. He just blows everything off like its nothing. He just walks up to me and says, "It is what it is." He has a lack of insight. Even when our parents die, he will blow it off like its nothing. Who cares. Then when I was in the hospital the doctor thought I was the biggest liar in history. He then proceeded to call my doctors to see if that was indeed the case. Not one person believes me. Not one. I have guns at my head, and the enemies are ready to pull the trigger. The world ganged up on me. Enemies everywhere with very small amount of allies. The world is a dark deadly place. Death waiting for me. Guns. Missiles. The destroyer of worlds. That is me. I am the Destroyer. Oh yeah! I don't think I mentioned in my updates that my art is so dark, that I got kicked out of places (also within the last 2 hellish months of pain and suffering... downplay away doctors!) because my art is so bad. One of them actually more were stolen than were bought. That is how bad it is. Then another place just said cards don't sell and they won't sell cards anymore.. that is mom's explanation though. I know the real story. They are still selling cards but not mine because they are the worst seller in the store. On to Ventures! half the months I don't even get a check from them. Oh I forgot to explain who they are. They are a store that sells things from disabled people. I am the absolute slowest seller there as well. I am in an art gallery and before they got my crappy art there they were selling so well that someone told me they sell a lot of originals, prints and cards. Since I have been there from March, the store didn't sell one original and traffic there is slowing down considerably. This is how it worked with other galleries i have been in. They do well before I come in and then it does so bad after I am in there that they literally have to close down. I am the Dark Lord. I am evil. That is the reason they stay away from anything by my name as much as possible. I have evil attached to my name. Dark energy surrounds my fat, morbidly obese body. So, that is my absolutely worthless life right now. You can imagine how stressed and depressed I am. Of course the doctors would downplay it by saying, I just want attention. What a load of crap.