I think you're making more of an issue of it than it truly is, with respect. I understand the physical problems you mentioned must be irritating at the very least, but I think you would be pleasantly surprised with the results if you simply told a perspective partner up front about this. To me, it seems like you're allowing the fear of the "what if's" of sex prevent any type of intimacy at all. I don't think any woman worth being in a relationship with is going to think any less of you for this.

Additionally, they sell condoms with a numbing agent on the inside that can help with the sensitivity, and I understand that oral topical numbing agents have the same effect on the genitals. That might be worth looking in to. Have you spoken to a doctor about what might be able to be done?

Don't beat yourself up about this. There's no shame in being a virgin at 20. That's still young. There isn't a rush.

BTW, simply for the consideration of some of our users, would you mind using a different term for sex? It may bother some.