I can no longer rember why I stoped cutting. I went a couple of mouths but why? I fill I have complety lost control again I am back were I was but worsh ( I am cuting deeper and more often then I ever have) there has even been time I cut and do not have any merior of it. After my trip to the er the outher night I have every one beliving I have stoped cutting again. But I am not sure I want to stop again if stoping once then starting again can get me in so deep that I have to go to the er and have times I cutt and have no meriey of it and it seems no corntral over it what is the point in stoping when I know I am doomed to relaps again and one I do it will be worsh then ever and probly kill me. Has any one elsh ever SI'ed and not rembered doing it? I have every one beliveing that I have stoped again so what is the big deal if I can not stop? I mean how are you supose to stop one you SI with out even knowing it? Onc I do countsly SI it helps me makes me happy (well maybe not happy but at lest relaxed) and helps me dill with pain and emoutings