I nearly died in feb in a car accident with 13 broken bones and a torn aorta.

Since then, Ive been prescribed painkillers(obviously) and xanax which was my drug of choice.

I'm trapped in a wheelchair for the rest of the year, some of next probably as well. I need another hip operation, my third, as my bones arent healing right.

To top off all of this, I only did detox n 4 months of rehab last year.

I'm drinking in moderation these days to get more bang for my buck with my meds.

I am stably on cymbalta for 2 years now, on 90mg.

My marriage is crumbling and I feel dreadful. I am close to suicide.

I doubt it's just from my previous chemical imbalance. It's primarily situational depression. Wheelchair, pain, crumbling marriage, life sucking more than normal.

I have a psychologist, long term, but she's retiring. And I have a referral to a psychaitrist, to do the CBT and muck with my meds.

I was going to AA and all that (No NA in my area) and am still doing the steps. Stuck on Step 4......

I'm just looking into life insurance, so my little girl has something. 13 month minimum and then it's iffy if it's suicide. I want to inconvenience my family and those around me as little as possible.

Words of wisdom would be helpful. but I thought I'd just put it out there.