I will pray for you, I have mixed episodes often! The worst mixed eipisode of my life happened last year, lasted way to long 3-4 months, It was the first time I ever attempted to off myself, and I had it justified in my own mind!? now it sounds CrAzY! Im not sure how I made it through it honestly, I didnt want to. My mom made me go see a dr and get on meds... I took them for a month and stopped. I guess it was long enough to pull me out of the mixed and I stayed depressed for many months after. Now Im like a roller coaster.. Day to day I never really know what my mood will be until I wake up.
I didnt want anyone around me during my mixed episodes but I hated being alone, people drove me crazy and I would go psycho on them BUT if you have someone in your life that understands Bipolar and knows you dont mean everything you might say and loves you.... HAVE HIM/HER STAY WITH YOU. dont let yourself be alone.. Its to easy to follow through with the bad thoughts.. I attepted and I woke up a week later and hadnt a clue what had happened.. my kids 6yrs and 3yrs were devistated had no idea what was goin on either. I hope I never go through something so horrible again. I have a great family and they watch for me to cycle and keep an eye on my behavior, They drive me nuts when Im depressed, lecture me about being responsible when manic and help me with my kids so I dont disrupt their stability in life. AND my mom wont let me be alone if she senses Im in a bad place mentally. She really disrupts her own life to watch over me. Im so blessed to have my mother.

Pray and keep positive people surrounding you! You just have to fight it and not let it win!