Hello Shan,
This is a well conceived forum but there doesn't tend to be a lot of replies to posts looking for help, advice, etc., so I'll start off:
those symptoms mirror mine exactly and I have benefited greatly from stimulant meds, mainly Concerta.
The key in your description of symptoms, to me, is that your disorder is causing great trouble in your life...that is the litmus test of whether it is "real" or not.
There is a whole school of doctors who believe help is available for people with these disturbing, annoying obstacles in their life, so why not explore what's out there and seek some support?
It is a lot of trial and error but the bottom line is, it's worth the trouble.
When you find a med that is allowing you to get through the day without "guilt" for messing up things and forgetting obligations, etc., you'll wonder why you waited so long.
Whether you call it ADD or not doesn't matter.
What matters is you will probably benefit from some managed chemical assistance to organize things in your life, so pursue it.
Good luck!