Thank you FacingChains.

I appreciate your input and understanding a lot!

I have been told to lighten up by my bf, which is why he tries to use sex to take my mind off things. But our minds just don't work the same & he doesn't "get that". He just can't relate in any way to my childhood experiences, that molded me into this jello that I am today. He thinks that I'm so much stronger and more resilient than I ever feel.

Anyway, when I hear "lighten up", I take it as "shut the ___ up!!". So, I'm glad that you went on to remind me of using my mindfulness techniques. Thanks Chains, I owe you one!