I would not have said that Mom and I were close; she has always been a bit of narcissist and, until the past five years, critical of me along with everyone and everything else.

I worked with a therapist to use some mild cognitive conditioning on her (telling her it was great to hear her say something positive, telling her I would have to hang up if she was negative), and these past five years I have finally had the approval I wanted all my life -- and I am in my 60s.

Due to mother's dementia and overall poor health, I have had to put her in a nursing home. She is in a double room, and that is hell for introverts like us. She has no phone in her room so I can't call her -- and she isn't talking to me anyway because she is mad at me.

We have talked every Sunday morning for years and years. I miss that so much for the past month.

I can't believe I can miss this critical woman -- who was also my wonderfully elegant and clever mother -- so much.