My mom caught me pacing and mumbling today when she got home from work. I don't even know how long I had been doing it, but I have been trouble with the crowd lately, with non-stop talking and noise, and I just started pacing. My mom wanted to take me to the hospital, and I refused.

Last night, I decided at 3 in the morning I needed to move all the furniture in my room. Why? I have this thing about windows, I think people are watching me and I ALWAYS have to close blinds where I am (school, bedroom, living room, psychologists office etc). My psychologist assures me it's not too weird, and allows me to adjust his blinds, but I am seriously thinking I am losing my mind. So anyways, I moved the furniture so I could have a better view of my window-just in case.

I have been going on rampages, ripping things apart, looking for things that I am not even sure exist.

I haven't been sleeping, I've started smoking, hours have been disappearing, I can't stop the tremors in my hands, I am twitchy, I FEEL CRAZY.

The week began with no emotion what so ever. My friend hung herself, my mom had a minor heart attack on Sunday, my brother got arrested, just so much crap- and sure I cared, but I didn't FEEL anything!

Now this. I feel extremely weird.