This is very poetic. It reminds me of in that movie, The Never Ending Story, when Atreyu finds the Rock Biter sitting all alone. The Rock Biter says "They look like good, strong hands, don't they?" And then tells how when the Nothing came he tried to hold on to his friends but it took them away anyway.

And it's very moving and sad. And I think that depression can feel like the Nothing sometimes.

I'm sorry you lost someone close to you.