So heres the thing... i left my ex husband because he was physically and emotionally abusive. And when he told my 1 year old daughter at the time that he hated her because she wouldnt say daddy, that was the last straw. Shes 4 years old now and the divorce is final giving me primary custody and he gets summer and every other christmas.
Hes had one summer and one christmas thus far and both times my daughter has come back saying her dad and his girlfriend spank her. As an abuse survivor im completely against that, and knowing his abuse toward me, im worried for her.

I dont necessarily want her to stop visiting him, i know how important a father is to a child. But i worry non stop with her visits knowing they spank her and knowing his anger problems. My daughter does not like his girlfriend at all saying "shes mean to momma and spanks me" and ive confronted them both about it but they deny anything. I dont believe children lie about this kind of thing as i was called a liar as a child when i wasnt. I dont know how to make this stop, how to stop them from putting their hands on her.
In the divorce papers it says i am allowed private phone conversations while she is there and i told her after the first visit to tell me if they did it again. When she did the girlfriend was obviouly listening in and interrupted my conversation to tell me how to parent my child and to tell my daughter not to say that. I just dont know where to go from here and she leaves for the summer in 6 days