Thank you amanda, im not looking to take legal action if i did i would be in court for the rest of my life. I just never understood why or how these people hurt me when they werent as bad as the abusers that would really hurt me. I wont go into details about those, but so many people did horrendous things and for a while i thought it was normal. Only once i started dating my current fiance did i realize that not every one is willing to hurt you for them. And only once i was able to look at my life from the outside, no longer a victim, did i realize just how bad some of them were. My t says i can press charges, even against my brother, but all i see any of that doing is bringing up bad memories. I kind of blamed myself for them hurting me, knowing i wasnt a small child but didnt leave made me believe i was doing it to myself so i never looked at them for being wrong.

Im sorry for triggering big mama, i tried to make it as light as possible but im not good at that. I really never understood why i could not get over these people and how they treated me, why it hurt me still, but im at a new point in my healing, i dont blame myself anymore but its causing confusion when i think back to other people that didnt just straight beat me or full on force things. The people i put myself in their way, confuses me. The ones who took advantage, the ones who were more discreet in hurting me. I am sorry i triggered you